Change the Story

We tell ourselves limiting stories that contain no truth. What follows is a pictorial example of exactly what I am talking about. Inner story at the time: “I’m fat. I mean, really, really fat. I have to stop eating for a year or no one will ever love me. The reason why I am alone and a loser is because I am fat and ugly.” Dang, this was Halloween 1988 (hence the glorious fake tattoo). I was eighteen years old, and so careful about my diet and exercise. I was a swimmer and a dancer. I was a sophomore at UC Santa…

Respect the Messenger

I hate my body. I hate my flaws. I look fat in this. I hate that I’m sick. I’m exhausted. I wish I had energy. I don’t talk this way about myself anymore, but I used to. I hear these exact remarks and others like them all the time from people who are doing great work in all areas of their lives. I’ve learned to appreciate my body’s integrity as I get older. I immediately feel the effects of my choices now. I can hate my body for a weight gain if I want to, I suppose. But it was…

Meditate

Advice to myself: Meditate while the water for the coffee is boiling. Sit wrapped in a blanket, palms open, eyes closed.  Focus on the breath coming in and out of my nose. Relax my face. Notice I’m thinking of marathon runners from Kenya who have relaxed faces even in the final miles. Wonder how they accomplish such mastery of the self. Let the runners go. Return to breath. Notice I’m thinking of that thing that pisses me off. Return to breath. Notice I’m thinking about Peaky Blinders. Let Alfie Solomon go, crazy as he is. Return to breath. Notice I’m calmer…

5 Ways I Find Time to Read

1. Read what I want Tell the inner smarty pants who is criticizing my book choice to go to hell. Dump books that aren’t capturing or inspiring me. I don’t have to give any book fifty pages before deciding whether or not to continue. Nobody has time for that. This isn’t dating. Books don’t have feelings. 2. Link the library with frozen yogurt Commit to frozen yogurt on the way home from every trip to the library. This is especially effective in the summer. Start reading the best book while eating a chocolate vanilla swirl topped with mochi bits. Don’t drip on…