I Am Ultra Conservative

This morning at a stoplight I got caught behind a white truck with two stickers on the back window: T****. Make America Great Again. CONSERVATIVE. BECAUSE NOT EVERYONE CAN BE A FREELOADER. These stickers side by side were such an oxymoron, emphasis on moron, that I decided that I’m taking the word conservative back from the conservatives. I am so conservative, I am Ultra Conservative. My students know never to begin an essay with a dictionary definition in my class, but school is out for the summer so here are some meanings of my new favorite word “conservative”: holding to…